Remembering Wendy

(scanned photo taken about 10 years ago)

Today is a very sad day for me.

On the first day of March (March 1st) Wendy and I were born, fifteen minutes apart.

On the last day of March (March 31st), 2 years ago, we said good-bye. Last year when I posted about her here, I remember thinking that with time the pain of losing my twin sister to cancer would ease. I really hasn't.

I know I have a lot of work to do. Grieving work. There are days I forget she is not here and reach for the phone. The shock that I can't talk to her almost bring me to my knees. A dear friend of hers called on our birthday this year and after saying hello she told me she just wanted to hear Wendy's voice. We had the same voice - we could often fool people.

Our journey together was often a rocky one but through it all we shared so much.

For the first fifteen years of our lives, we were inseparable. I actually never thought of myself as one. I was always a part of a duo. We did everything together. Sang our first song (a duet of course) on stage at the age of three, began piano at five, violin at ten and all and sundry other activities....but always together. We could play "make believe" forever and never needed anyone else, props or toys. We had each other. That was enough.

We could finish each other's sentences and sometimes...often....didn't really even need words. No one laughed harder at my jokes or antics than Wendy. We found delight in everything and only we "got it". Sometimes we were referred to as the giggle sisters.

But most of the time we were just called "twin".

When I am very sad, I have to stop myself and remember that most people don't have the gift of a twin sister. And I'm forever grateful that we had her last two months to enjoy each other, reminisce and heal. I was able to accompany her to travel to her daughter (my beloved neice - Natasha) to say good-bye and to see her just days old first grandchild (sweet baby Michael).

That helps.

But I will always miss her.

My Wendy.

I scanned the above picture from a family portrait we had taken about 10 years ago. We don't really have too many recent pictures together and I realize that I have to frame this one.

(I have a hard time seeing daily reminders of loved ones who are gone but I know I have to in order to heal.)

So, I thought I would convert it for Black and White Wednesday and perhaps frame them both.

I think I like it better in color for one reason. Wendy was all about color. Her favorite colors were turquoise (and all the various shades and hues therein) and lavender. She called it orchid.

And...ahem.......black, of course.

We were one!

We had many differences too. Like I could paint a picture with paint and canvas, Wendy could paint her visions with words. She was amazing. Her letters, notes, poems, prose and even the beginnings of a novel wove images that could catch the imagination and make you soar. I have a box of many of her notes through the years that are my most treasured of her. She was more introverted, I'm an extrovert, she could agonize over the details, I'm more a

"be bright, be brief, be gone" kind of person.

I guess she was the yin to my yang....or the yang to my yin.

Yes, maybe both!

Here's to my Wendy!

Remembering Wendy

Today I am deviating slightly off topic to remember someone integral to who I am - my twin sister Wendy. We were born 15 minutes apart and were identical twins. Yes, we had our own language and could re-count stories of feeling each other's pain. She was my best friend and really my other half for many years. To this day I still walk down the sidewalk to the right, not in the middle.

Today is a sad day for me as it is one year ago today when we lost Wendy to cancer. I miss her terribly.

This is why I enjoy following twin blogs like Double Happiness, Salsa and others. They are a joy for me to peek into their happiness and a healing balm for me as well.